I'M THE GLASS, HE'S THE WATER

     

 My family had not been saved very long and had just gotten involved in a non denominational church and began to learn about miracles and healing.  I was in need of a healing and my mom and I were invited to attend a service in El Paso with a "Healing" evangelist by the name of Catherine Kulman.  We were raised Catholic and at that time the Catholic church knew nothing about or didn't teach such things as laying on of hands, as some Charismatic Catholics started doing later.  This was all new to both my mom and I who boarded a charter buss headed for a meeting we would never forget!
    Arriving at the El Paso Coliseum , there was a line blocks long, but we had reservations and were able to go to the front of the line with other groups and yet our wait in line was still about an hour or so.  While in line we made the acquaintance of other's in line from different places.  We met a police officer who was paralyzed from a gun shot, I think, years earlier.  As the doors opened we were ushered in and were all seated in the same section.  This police officer and his group were seated across the isle from us with him seated in his chair in the isle..  I in my brace with our group sat in seats in our section.
     There was beautiful music and then I was mesmerized by this tall thin woman who seamed to float on to the stage in her clean white dress with flowing sleeves that looked like wings, flowing as she moved her arms as if conducting the audience in the songs.  Then she began to speak and even her voice and how she spoke seem so impressive to me.  She began to preach, tho I did not know that's what she was doing as all I knew was she was talking in a way that was so simple, I understood everything she was saying.  I had already given my heart to the Lord as had my mom, and I understood some of what she was saying, but then she began to share some things that I had no idea could happen to people, much less me!
    At one point she began speaking out words of healing power, of how God was going to heal people right then and there.  After that I think I was just distracted by people shouting now and then, or whole sections of people suddenly coming alive in shouts of praise to God.   I just didn't know which section was more exciting to look at, then it was as if God got my head and turned it to face this police officer we had been talking to when we were outside in line.  Just as I turned to his direction I saw he was sitting in his chair and seemed to be shaking all over, so much so his chair even seemed to be shaking.  Then without an warning he stood up!!! My thought was "I thought he was paralyzed!"  The next thing I know people all around him that knew him were shouting and crying and he just takes off running!!!   I don't remember when or how but he ended up front on stage, the main thing I remember is he lifted one leg and kind of tossed it up on the little podium and says.. I still can't feel my legs, but I can walk!... then he knocked that let off and it swung like a pedulem, but as soon as it was on the ground it was strong and he tossed the other leg up on the podium and said and did the same.  People were shouting and crying and I don't remember much about him after that, but Miss Kulman began to speak to the crowd again.  I was a little confused, but more amazed as I had no idea what all this healing thing was about... then she explained it, and as she explained it, she seem to look over at me.  I don't know if she did, but in my mind she did.  She looked right over at me and said "You see darling, In the bible we read about how Jesus healed people that were sick with all kinds of things. Some were horrible disfiguring diseases, some were paralyzed, some were blind or deaf or dumb and others had diseases you couldn't see on the outside.. but He healed them ALL.  And just like he did way back then, He is still doing today... and He will continue to do that until that glorious day when we are all with him and there will be no need of healing, for we shall all be whole, changed in a twinkling of an eye!"  And I understood it, it became a reality in my spirit, and I had one small thought... "I wish that would happen to me."
    She then said if anyone had anything wrong with their back or their spine to stand up.. so I stood up.  No one around me seem to notice that I stood up.  not even my mom.  I guess she prayed and then went on to ask others with other ailments to stand and I sat down.  I wish I could tell you that I felt some sort of great power come upon me, I didn't.  I just sat there and continued to look around at all that was going on around me, but then it seemed as if the metal on the brace I was wearing was heating up.  So I whispered to my mom, who was too busy herself taking in all that was going on and so she just reached over to adjust or loosen the brace a little for me, but then noticed the brace seemed kind of warm.. then everyone around me started to touch my brace and soon an usher came over to see what the commotion was all about.  When we explained what was going on he said "Young Lady, The Lord is healing you.  God to the back and take it off... then escorted my mom and I to the women's bathroom area.
      My mom went into the bathroom, still not sure of what was actually happening.  The brace I was wearing held my body straight, but when I took it off my body would resume it's twisted way.  The first thing we noticed was that when we took the brace off, my body stayed straight.  Another thing is I had a hump producing out of my lower back and that that hump seem to be gone, or at least down... like I said.. this was new so we weren't sure what was going on.  I remember my mom and I discussing whether we should put the brace back on or leave it off.  We opted to leave it off (for now) When we came out of the bathroom, the usher was pacing back and forth in front of the door waiting anxiously for us to come out... when we did he asked most excitedly "Well?  Well, are you healed??"   Uh, we weren't sure so we sort of gave him a slow "I think so" and next thing he did was grab my hand and said to my mom "come on mamma" and took us to the front where there was a group of Dr's who would examine people before they were allowed to go on stage.. there were thousands of people and sadly many time some would fake a healing just to get on stage.. so they examined my brace then my spine and then sent me and my mom up on stage.
    Now here I was up on stage with this tall lady who was even taller and thinner now that she was standing before me.  She reached out with her long thing fingers as she said "Darling, what did Jesus do for you?" and she started to cup my face with her hands and the next thing I remember was a slight feeling of being pulled up, kind of like when an alevater pulls your body when it first moves... and then the next thing I remember is being on the floor and opening my eyes.  My head was facing the audience so I turned my face and my mom was on the floor next to me.  I don't know how long we were on the floor, but I don't remember hitting the floor or being laid on the floor. I believe that even if I don't remember, there were things going on in the spirit, God's calling on my life, ministry imparted and things of the spitit that would lead me down the path that God would lead me in.  But all of this I would not know or understand until later, much much later.
     After that meeting things got kind of crazy.  I was already singing in church as God was molding my music ministry, but it got to where I could not go into a service anywhere without being asked to come forward and give my testimony about how God healed me.  Later a preacher or two asked me to mention that it was through their ministry that I was healed... which I did not.  I did not even mention Miss Kulman that much without sharing her words of Jesus being our healer yesterday, today and forever.  I got to where I didn't want to share the story anymore, and I felt bad and knew inside this wasn't right... I should want to sh out it from the roof tops.... I should want to testify at every chance and ask God.. why was I feeling like this. God answered me in this way, He said "They are worshiping the healing and not the healer"  After that I shared as He led me and I guess God took care of it because people quit pushing that as much.
    I wish I could tell you that from here on I grew great in the Lord and God moved in a mighty way in my life, but something happened that actually happens to a lot of ministers and even just Christians in general.  I did continue on in ministry at that young age.  I continued with music.  I began to sing at almost every service I was in.  I got very involved in church, our whole family did, or our mom and all of us younger children who still lived at home.   I have to admit I was more involved that most and even started teaching bible lessons to youth. Then helped with Sunday School and on a few occasions even taught the Adult Sunday School class in our Assembly of God church.   I was spiritually stable beyond my years.  Church was my life and more so than most of my syblings or friends in school.  All of this was great, but then something crept in.  Something that I didn't recognize at first.  Something began happening to me that was a plan to derail me from a calling that God had placed upon my life.
    To tell you the exact day it happened is something I cannot do.  But I will be able to tell you the exact day I understood it.   You see I began to fall into a trap of the enemy.  I began to judge others by my standard of what I believed a Christian should be, and who other than me was able to hold the measuring stick?  After all, I was in church every Sunday, morning and evening services as well as every Wednesday.  If there was a revival I was there every night and helped with praise and worship if not the one to lead it.  At my young age I was already a pillar of our church and was already in music ministry and I made sure I called it ministry and made sure other's understood it was ministry.   I could not see others who did not attend or get involved as much as I was to be a very strong Christian.  In fact I quickly made mental records as to who came to church and who didnt and if they didn't they most certainly not love God as much as I did, and surely were not as anointed as I was and dare I say even loved by God as much as I was.
     After awhile praying before I got to church was not really necessary for someone like me cause I was already close to God and He knew I loved him and I knew He loved me.  I didn't have to read my bible like I use to because I pretty much knew more than most people anyway... and so I quit praying for God to show me what to sing, I quit reading my bible for God to speak and show me things.  I secretly walked like this for a few years and being a teenager made for little excuse, I had given my heart to the Lord.. age didn't matter then,  the way I was living my life and the attitude of my heart was at a place where age didn't matter now.
     I had not been wearing a back brace for a few years and now for the first time I wanted to have PE as a class.  I think my mom was against it, and I was allowed to have it as a class as long as I was carefull.  I want to say this here.  When you pray and read your word in a personal way between you and God, and walk in a way that is deep and personal, you sort of walk under an anointing that covers you, and when you leave that place in God, you leave yourself wide open for attacks of the enemy..... now in saying that, I believe this is the place I was in at this time.  No longer walking with God in an intimate way, no longer caring or believing in the power of His anointing.
      I was in PE and doing some sort of stretching exercise or something of that nature when I felt something kind of like a spring breaking or some strange sensation like that.  I don't remember much after that except being at the Carrie Tingly Hospital for crippled children where I had been put in a brace before and being told I needed to be admitted right then and there.  My spine was now pushing on my heart and lungs and would need surgery!  After being put on traction where I was strapped to my bed with a head gear that had weights hanging on it, and the weights increased until the time of surgery which would indicate that is as best as my spine would straighten.... I was then put in a body cast.  I was unable to move my body much on my own and so every couple of hours they would come in and change my position from lying on my right side propped with pillows, to lying flat on my back then onto my left side propped with pillows.  The hospital was not in the same town we lived in so after my mom stayed around for about a week or so she had to go home to tend to the other kids and I was there alone, not that it was that bad, since this hospital and the people there had become like my second family and second home.
      on one particular day I was feeling very alone.  Not just alone without my family, but it felt as if God had left me there alone.  I began to miss the relationship I had with God before.  I tried to pray, but just could not feel His presence and I began to cry. Softly at first and then in sobs.  A nurse came in to comfort me, to ask if I missed my family, did I want to call home.  I just shook my head, no and and continued to cry, not able to explain to her that it was about me and God, or rather me and NOT God.   So she said to me, "There is a Thanksgiving Special on TV that everyone is watching, would you like to see it?"   and without my answer she moved my bed and turned my body and propped me up a little as it was time for me to be flat on my back... then turned on the TV and left.   Well in those days there was a little white dot in the center of the screen before the picture filled it.  As she disappeared around the corner the picture came in full view as it turned out the Thanksgiving Special was a "Christian" program with Oral Roberts who I had never seen in my life.  As the picture came into clear focus it was Brother Roberts pointing his finger at the camera which of course made it look like he was pointing at me and he said theses words "Even if you're lying flat on your back, God has NOT left you!!!"   At this point the whole world disappeared and I knew God had not left me, and I was not alone.... and God spoke in the most clear voice with a message that changed my ministry to what it is today.
      God said to me. "When you are real thirsty, and you come into your home. You walk into your kitchen and get a glass from the cabinet... do you say that your thirst is quenched?"
"NO Lord" I said
"No, because the glass has not yet been filled with water.... You are the glass, I am the water"  and then God said.."When you sing a song and someone comes up to you and says 'that is the song I needed to hear'... Did you know they needed to hear that song?"
"No, Lord" I said
"No, you didn't, it was by my Spirit that I led you to prepare and sing that song because I knew that child of mine needed the words of that song that day at that moment...for you are the glass and I am the water... And when you are singing and you see someone crying, do you have the power to command the tears to fall?"
Again I said "No, Lord"
"Of course not, said the Lord... "It is by my spirit that at that moment I see what is in that heart and can minister to them as I lead you to sing a song a such a time... you are the glass, I AM THE WATER!"
That message changed my heart, changed my life and changed my ministry.  I understood that without God I am nothing.  Without His anointing my walk is nothing, my music is nothing, my ministry is nothing... and I understand that it goes beyond that.  I cannot be the daughter, sister, friend, wife mother, grandmother, mother in law, or sister in Christ without recognizing that I am the glass and He is the water!

YOU ARE THE WATER
(by Mary Ann Cobos Boyd 4/4/12)

(1) 
I walked into the church, not knowing what to sing
Waiting on the Lord cause I dont know a thing
Is it time for rejoicing and dancing of our feet
Or do you want us worshiping at the mercy seat
Without you I am nothing. Lord please lead me now
without you I can't minister so Lord please show me how
Help me lead your people, in humbleness my Father
Knowing I'm your vessel but you are the water

CHORUS
You are the water that refreshes every hungry soul
What each person need only you can know
So Lord let your spirit fall now on this place
Rain down your love and mercy. The fullness of your grace
You have called us to be ministers to strengthen one another
But we are all just vessels.. You are the water

(1)
I know my friend is hurting and needs for me to pray
I try to find the words.. to know just what to say
Should I just pray.silently. or do you have a word
I know my friend is desperate and needs you O Lord
Let your presence fall and touch this hurting heart
Give me understanding, let me know my part
I wait for you to use me, in humbleness my Father
Knowing I'm your vessel, but you are the water